Boy meets girl

Love is as exciting, disappointing and confusing here as in all countries. However the traditions here are quite different from what I am used to. As I am writing this, I sit a mere meter away from a typical stage before getting married, and I have first-hand information of how you get married. My aunt has talked on the phone with a man for 6 months, and this week she finally met him for the first time. At the moment I am witness to their third date, which beats even Napoleon Dynamite in awkwardness. I wonder if it is as embarrassing to them as it is to me…

Last time he brought his friend. One could imagine it an improvement, however it simply meant I could enjoy the company of not only one sad bachelor, but two. They looked miserably down at the floor, ignoring my small talk. The only answer I got, after a lot of frustrated looks at my family, was their names. (And confusingly enough they were called the same!) And no one else in the family talked to them either. The young men didn’t even smile. They looked as is if they wanted to be anywhere else but here. I couldn’t believe how this young man actually wanted to marry my aunt. Where were the longing eyes or the secret smiles? The best part was the fact that my aunt was faced the other way. Not looking in his direction. I asked myself if they were both terribly shy or if this was a part of the culture I did not understand.

I quickly learned that, in order to respect potential fiancés family, you don’t look at any family members and you don’t talk if the family is present. A more religious way of falling in love is to not meet your fiancé at all. Your families talk, but you don’t. Before the wedding that is.

Respect is the reason why husbands don’t talk to his father-in-law and the reason why you are shy in the presence of older people. In order to avoid shameful situations a husband could (potentially) jump out the window or cover their face if the father-in-law enters the room.

Getting married

Step one: meet a girl/boy or a cousin
Step two: Get persons phone number
Step three: When you feel like you know this person you can meet the family
Step four: Eat dinner with her family
Step five: Ask her to marry
Step six: Make your family ask her family if you can get married
Step seven: Bring a goat to her family
Step eight: Marry (if you can afford it)