Thursday, 1 December 2011

The value of family life

One of the aspects I like best with the Saharawi society is the importance of family. As mentioned before is the big family never far away. When someone gets married the new couple usually settles down only few meters away from the mother of the wife. My Saharawi family lives about 60 meters away from my mothers family and is because of that quite “far” away from the rest, Saharawi standard of course. This is something my mother has expressed as well; she really wishes her house would be closer to the house of her mother and sisters.

As a Norwegian I find it hard to understand that 60 meters away from the rest is a long distance. In my Norwegian family all of my aunts and uncles live in different parts of the country, and we usually don’t see them more than once a year. I have always thought of this as a natural and good thing since it becomes so special when we actually meet. (When I was younger I actually told my parents that they should move away from my hometown when I got children of my own because I wanted my children to get the same good childhood memories as I got by travelling far to visit my grandparents across the country.) Now however, as it feels like a small part of me has become Saharawi, I really do understand why the Saharawi people value their big family so much in everyday life. Family means everything here. They are the ones that help you if you are sick, they take care of your children if you have to go to a meeting and they are the people you spend uncountable hours with over a glass of tea or three. It seams like almost everyone we meet are part of our family one way or an other, either as a cousin, a aunt of your father or as the brother of the uncle of your grandmothers second cousin on your fathers side. (Or was it your mothers side...?)

The everyday contact between the generations are very different in the camps from what I’m used to from my own family in Norway. We often see family members of the same gender and from different generations embracing each other, holding hands or resting under the same blanket. My little brother loves helping his grandparents with the lekanims (goats) and the older children spends a lot of time playing with and taking care of the younger ones. Many evenings are spent drinking tea under the stars in summer time or inside under a blanket in wintertime. And of course always together with other family members. Age doesn’t seem to matter as much here as it does back home. It doesn’t really matter how old you are as long as you are a likable person. And if you are not, that doesn’t really matter either because you are family. You share everything from rooms to plate to malhefas. I often tend to ask people about their age, and the answer I get is almost just as often that they don’t know. They often think the question is strange, but if I really need to know they suggest that we have a look on the birthdate on their ID card. You spend a lot of time with your family no matter how big an age difference there are.

I do understand that my mother wishes she could just call on her sisters through the walls of the tent, instead of walking 60 meters in the darkness only in the lights of a small flash light and the stars.

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